Teen Torment

This, "The v.a. man, Can He Change"

is my latest book. It is hot off the press.

To order it or any of my books start by clicking here!
p.s. It's about men changing because I have never seen a woman, who is really abusive
to her mate, change.



Take a glimpse of this book, and we think you won't want to put it down. At last we have tools for change!

• Verbal abuse creates a pretend world
• Verbal abuse ostracizes its victims and isolates them
• Verbal abuse denigrates and diminishes human beings
•  Verbal abuse invades a person's inner world and self-definition
• Verbal abuse is kept hidden and seldom discussed
•  Verbal abuse may seem normal to some
•  Verbal abuse coerces people to protect perpetrators

Without men willing to change we would have no change in the world. Men can find out what to do if they have the v.a. problem.

The verbally abusive man often has an 'inside' self and an 'outside' self. He shows one self to the world. This is the persona or image, that he made up from the outside in. It is his outside self.
His 'inside' self is the one that appears when the world is shut out. Then it is just him and him in you, so to speak. As if there is only one mind, his, in the room and so of course he knows what you are, what you are 'trying to do' and even how sensitive you are.


How to recognize understand and deal with people who try to control you.

Author note:

Every day people ask, "Why would anyone try to control me!" I believe that this is the first book to really answer that question. — It even discusses the Taliban. — Patricia Evans
What people are saying about CONTROLLING PEOPLE:
"I want to tell you that I thought I knew what control was about--that you wouldn’t have much new to tell me--I’d read your books so many times. But, oh, you blew my mind. Now I finally know what was wrong. Do you know what that means to me? I can’t begin to tell you. "For years I couldn’t understand why he’d look through me or walk away when I was talking, or put me down and say it was just teasing. I’d have spent my life wondering."
(From the book: "Afterword")
"I finished reading the book . It really brings back a lot of stuff that I endured growing up and talks about something, that until recently, no one even believed existed, Defining people. For years, while I was growing up, I tried explaining exactly the same things that you describe in your book, to psychologists and social workers, that all told me, that I was imagining things and that I was trying to start trouble. Your latest book, is the first, that actually describes in detail what an abuser actually does and how they think."
—Anonymous man
"Your new book, Controlling People, arrived several days ago and I have been burning the midnight oil, reading every word voraciously and making notations throughout. I greatly appreciate what you have done, Patricia, in piecing this perplexing problem together in the way that you have. "The Strangest Paradox" and the "True Connection" chapters really captivated me."
—A Woman Reader


How to recognize it and how to respond

Expanded Second Edition
Published by Adams Media Corporation (1996)

"A groundbreaking book." - Newsweek
Book helps wife handle verbally abusive husband
DEAR ABBY: Like so many others, I have learned from you and your readers for years. I finally feel I must respond to a recent letter from a woman who described her husband as "good-looking, well-educated, clean, but also mean, bad-tempered, abusive, name-calling, complaining and usually absent." My husband also fits that description.

For years, I adjusted, adjusted and adjusted! Then about a year and a half ago, I found a book at my bookstore by Patricia Evans called "The Verbally Abusive Relationship", which described my experience to a "T." My husband became angry when he saw me reading it, but I have used the suggested techniques with success.

Verbally abusive relationships are more prevalent than anyone suspects. We need to bring them out of the closet. Author Robert Fulgham said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will break our hearts."

Please, Abby, get the word out. There are far too many husbands out there like "Eager to Switch in Ohio's" and mine.

I'm grateful there is a forum such as your column for getting information like this to the public. Sign me ... I'd Rather be Alone

DEAR I.R.B.A.: Although I have devoted much space to the problem of physical abuse, you have provided me with an opportunity to address the issue of verbal abuse--which is even more widespread.

Criticism and angry words can cut like a knife, leaving emotional wounds that fester and poison what should be loving relationships. Before speaking out in anger, it's better to ask oneself, "Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind? and what will I accomplish by saying this?" If the answer to any of those questions is negative, leave the room and cool off.

Taken from a DEAR ABBY column by Abigail Van Buren. Distributed by UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE. Reprinted with permission. All rights reserved.


On relationship and recovery

Published by Adams Media Corporation